My heart is beating. My heart is beating. Please come back.

Considering the title and the object of this post, i should be writing in indonesian. I’ve forced myself to, but i cannot give the right expression. So, sorry…

A few days ago I mentioned about whisperdesire’s splitting and that they left three live-recorded new singles to be downloaded on their mySpace page as farewells. Those songs are the only three songs in my playlist from the minute i finished my downloading, and nothing else. The recording was nowhere near perfect, any critic would make a feast out of it. All three songs are climaxing slowly, plus their first halfs of 2 out of the whole 3 songs are not very easy to enjoy, despite the technical difficulties. At first i even thought freddy’s voice was as near as horrible though the instruments behind it are quite excellent, but once i hit the rest half i know instantly why i love them and why their splitting has making me mourning for three days now.

“Halu” has a very hollow start, it’s deep and lazy and has this haunting feeling. it really feels like a farewell song, i didnt even bother to listen to the lyric. Then the second half moves in and it is a whisperdesire’s. I can imagine myself, solo-dancing in an-almost-dark space with my both eyes shut and hands open in the air, just dancing in nothingness, loosing myself into thin air. If it is a real goodbye, i’m having it with my lips smiling in the melody.

I remember seeing the band performed “Pesan” in two of their gigs which i attended earlier this year, and i remember it to be a good song. So i’m relieved that it also comes as one of the downloading material. The recording has a minor disturbing feed back, but i decided that i can live with it when Freddy’s high-pitched falsetto enters. Maybe there’ll be a line for those who will curse him for bringing a possible-damage-cause voice to their ears, but i’m not on that line. Since i am a ms. brightside lately, the out-of-tune voice is not what i hear. I hear angelic. An epic from its first key. This one deserves a slow dancing on the rooftop.

“Titik Terang Dalam Sendiri” is a mediocre. I’ve seen them performing it before also, but the song doesn’t stay in me as “Pesan” does. Still, it is a constant jingle thru my days now.

I first listened to whisperdesire in August of last year and i love it in an instance. I had a copy of their EP, Cerah Berawan and I love every single song in it, all 4 of them. My fave is “Kita Akan Bertemu Disana”. It gives you optimism, a good closing for their every gig.

Conclusion. Will not be able to repeat the glory of seeing them performing live on stage is regretfull. But they’ve done it enough. A very good kind of ‘enough’. It is one of a proud-full split.

If you have enough curiosity, go listen and download the said farewell singles on : www.myspace.com/whisperdesire

I had a terrible weekend. It was all started with a disaster last Friday, when I found my work -say, “the 80″ since I had it finished at its 80% when I last saw its existence- was vanished. Completely without trace to God-knows which heaven or hell. Stupid stupid computer and its stupid stupid viruses. And an even more stupid stupid me. Off course I lost any mood that was left in me the instant I realized that I had to redo it from scratch. So instead of redoing “the 80″ I was wandering around, bugging everyone that I can bug. But I managed to live until the end of the day.

On Saturday,it was hell. A friend kinda stood me up, but luckily I have a better friend to cure the day. After one lousy movie, probably the lousiest I’ve ever watched, I then arrived to the point where I ignored all of the non beneficial situation I had. I slept like a baby that night. And btw, the movie was titled Bangkok Dangerous, it has Nicolas Cage and some Thai actors with Thai sets and all, and it was a horrible piece. To be noted, I wouldn’t have watched it in a million years if I was in any position to give any objection, but not on this Saturday.

Today, Sunday, a relaxing one. Just me, the tv, and the dvd, and the Gilmore Girls. I’m not a fan, but so far I managed to get myself to the fourth season. I was quite entertained, actually. Until another update strikes. whisperdesire, one of my fave local scenes, officially announced that they split. Actually I’ve heard the rumors months ago, but didn’t found any confirmation, so for me it stayed as just rumor until i went to their mySpace page earlier today and found a blog entry announcing the split. Well, at least they left some farewell live recordings of their new songs to be downloaded on the page.

Then I talked to one of my best friends who is thousands of miles away, thanks to this modern life that is not at all rubbish. But after a roller coaster connection, the call had to be discontinued due to the unstable wireless connection of the other end. This modern life, is indeed, rubbish.

Hell. I don’t know how to end a pointless writing. I’ll just stop typing. Now.

I got lucky.

It was one of those boring days, too much to do too little willingness to actually ‘do’ any ‘do’. Hah. So then I escaped to my bed, put on my earplugs which conductor the music to my ears, but then again I was still boring. And so I was scrolling and randomly picked any song and hit the play button.

I got lucky.

I heard some applauses, some clapping hands, some whistlings, then a familiar tune continued by familiar voice and words. Oh, it’s just Oasis, live with their “Dont Look Back In Anger”. But no. It was not a ‘just’. I was kinda altered when it reached chorus and right at that second i had my first smile of the day. Instead of being delivered by one of the brothers, the whole lines was sang by the entire stadium! Well, I dont know if it was a stadium performance since it was only an audio recording, but it sure did sound like one. A magical one. So I got chills. And decided to dedicate the rest of the day listening to them. But nothing was like the first hearing. Love it love it love it.

“So, I Start A Revolution From My Bed”

Wonder what it must feels like, having the greatest band in your youthful life to act exactly in front of your bare eyes. Chills and chills and chills. Hah. Dodo would say that it’s ‘ecstacy’-esque. Well I was just listening to the recording and I had some, too. Next wonder will be, what it must feels like having thousands of people take over your song’s chorus and shouted it in its melodies right in front of you. Another ‘ecstacy’, I guess. Wonder what Dodo’s actual responds to these wonders would be, but since I exchanged only a few lines in these past couple of days that are not enough to be considered a conversation, these wonders will not have any good anticipating discussion any time soon.

Still, I got lucky.

The rest of that day, a definitely amusing day.

Fave tracks (at this moment) :

1. Don’t look back in anger
2. The shock of the lightning
3. Live forever
4. Champagne Supernova
5. Digsy’s dinner
6. Stand by me
7. The masterplan
8. Don’t go away

August 18, 2008.

On bloc party dot net’s blogparty I read that there’d be an online webchat with the band latter that day, 7 pm GMT. Anyway, I skipped it.

August 19, 20008.

I was rechecking on dotnet to see if there was any blurb of the previously skipped webchat. And BAMM. It was written right on the screen that during the webchat : Bloc Party announced details of their third album, titled ‘Intimacy‘, and that the materials was ready to be released in two days. Which third album??????? I thought I recall a conversation with Dodo mentioning that the album-en-parlant will be released early next year, or end of this year at the sooner.

This isn’t the surprise that I would be thrilled to know. I wasn’t anticipated to hear that bloc party’s releasing any album in a short period after a march of Flux, Mercury, and Idea For A Story. After being spoiled with the perfection of Silent Alarm and A Weekend In The City, now I have to give up to the uprising fact that Mercury isn’t just experiment. I, as a fan who intended to be a loyal one, had this wishful thinking that the band was just ‘trying on’ Flux and Mercury, just to see if those sounds fit them, and that they’d finally decide that they don’t.

As is also written in blogparty, they’re doing Intimacy the Radiohead way. What way ? The putting-it-online way. The way that has gotten Radiohead claimed by Time as one of the world’s 100 most influential people.

So I quote : “When the British rock band Radiohead announced that In Rainbows would be made available online directly to consumers at whatever price they wanted to pay, many said it signaled the end of the world’s major music labels. (…). The traditional record-label bussiness mode – the one based on controlling access and distribution – is dead.” – Edgar Bronfman Jr for Time. Ach. The article diminished my expectation of Time’s reason putting them on the list. I thought it was because of some music-wised reason, but yet i’s how they did their marketing that ‘The World’ counts.

Anyways. The day after, the first single releases after the album announcement was uploaded to bp’s MySpace. I was unavoidably pesimistic, considering the almost-hideous-and-not-enjoyable-to-listened-to-according-to-me previous singles. But WHEW!! Signs is the bloc party I knew! And Trojan Horse! At last!! Some guitars are involved!! i’ve been anxious and extremely nervous these past couple of days, worried of the possibility that I would not adore bloc party as the way I’ve been adoring them. But no worries now. Suddenly tha perception of having the band’s newest work a few months in advance is intoxicating.

August 22, 2008.

Thanks to my most-brilliant-bestest-friend-ever Dodo, I have in my bare hands the copy of Intimacy, intact ( Hey, no judgment please. I’d get myself the official copy if I lived in the right country ). The heart was pounding, the head was unsure. And..

I LOVE IT PERIODE

Literally speechless. After maybe the zillionth time of unstoppable Intimacy, I even love Mercury. Finally all those noises make sense to my ears. I’ve spent all morning browsing thru dotnet and any of its forum’s threads concerning Intimacy, and nothing else. So, this post will be wrapped up with something that I noticed been done a lot in the mentioned forum. I’m rating Intimacy.

Definitely *****

Major tracks in my playlist would be Halo, Biko, Trojan Horse, Signs, Ion Square. And Ares. And One Month Off. And Mercury. And Zepherus and Better That Heaven. Apparently I just love it extremely much.

I’ve found the highlight of my 2008.

]]> http://redmistletoes.wordpress.com/2008/08/23/intimacy/feed/ 0 redmistletoes http://redmistletoes.wordpress.com/2008/07/20/thank-god-for-remixes/ http://redmistletoes.wordpress.com/2008/07/20/thank-god-for-remixes/#comments Sun, 20 Jul 2008 07:00:58 +0000 redmistletoes http://redmistletoes.wordpress.com/?p=119 ]]>

On wiktionery.org :

re + mix (noun) :

1. (music) A rearrangement of an older piece of music, possibly including various cosmetic changes
2. (music) A piece of music formed by combining existing pieces of musics together, possibly including various other cosmetic changes

—

On Wikipedia.org :

A remix is an alternative version of a song, different from the original version. A remixer uses audio mixing to compose an alternate master recording of a song, adding or subtracting elements, or simply changing the equalization, dynamics, pitch, tempo, playing time, or almost any other aspect of the various musical components. Some remixes involve substantial changes to the arrangement of a recorded work, but many are subtle, such as creating a “vocal up” version of an album cut that emphasizes the lead singer’s voice. A song may be remixed to give a song that was not popular a second chance at radio and club play, or to alter a song to suit a specific music genre or radio format. Remixes should not be confused with edits, which usually involve shortening a final stereo master for marketing purposes.

—-

On me :

Remix is a proof, that screwed up things can be better than their pre-screwed ups. Thank God they’re long length-ed.

Personal Fave remixes :

1. This Modern Love – Bloc Party ( Dave P. And Adam Sparkles’ Making Time Remix)
2. So Here We Are – Bloc Party ( Four Tet Remix)
3. Mr Brightside – The Killers (Jacques Lu Cont’s Thin White Duke Mix)

It’s a short list, but it sure is not a final version.

Last week I had the strangest dream
Where everything was exactly how it seemed
Where there was never any mystery of who shot John F. Kennedy
It was just a man with something to prove
Slightly bored and severely confused
He steadied his rifle with his target in the center
And became famous on that day in November

Don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in

Manusia memang aneh. Dan mereka menjadi lebih aneh lagi ketika sedang mengalami waktu terburuk di hidupnya. Di dunia hitam, putih, dan abu-abu ini saat itu yang terlihat hanya hitam. Tanpa disadari, keputusan yang diambil semakin menyedot mereka ke area hitam itu dan semakin menjauhkan mereka dari area putih dimana semuanya seharusnya lebih mudah. Lebih mudah dihadapi, lebih mudah dijalani, lebih mudah dimengerti.

Saat analogi ini terrelasikan ke cara sesorang menyayangi orang lain, saat itulah semua yang salah menjadi semakin salah. Yang seharusnya sangat mudah menjadi luar biasa sulit. Yaitu menyayangi seseorang dengan tulus, sebodoh apapun kelihatannya, tanpa mengharapkan apapun kembali.

All right, I’m rambling.

And then last night I had that strange dream
Where everything was exactly how it seemed
Where concerns about the world getting warmer
The people thought that they were just being rewarded
For treating others as they like to be treated
For obeying stop signs and curing diseases
For mailing letters with the address of the sender
Now we can swim any day in November

Don’t wake me I plan on sleeping in

Semalam gue tercerahkan oleh obrolan dengan seorang sahabat. Loving should be easy. Kalo menyayangi seseorang seharusnya mempermudah keadaan dan bukan sebaliknya. Bahwa menyayangi seseorang artinya tidak mengkomplikasi keadaan, bahkan ketika keadaan itu memang penuh komplikasi. Dan ketika keadaan itu berubah menjadi sesuatu yang kita tidak siap untuk hadapi, bukan berarti kita harus memvonis bahwa perasaan pun sudah berubah dan berontak habis2an karena ga terima.

Coba lihat dengan cara ini.

Menyenangkan sekali untuk selalu memiliki seseorang yang memperhatikan kita, yang mengkhawatirkan kita, dan menunjukkan kepada kita bahwa mereka memperhatikan dan mengkhawatirkan kita. Tapi hal itu ga akan berlangsung selamanya. Akan tiba saatnya seseorang itu memperhatikan kita, mengkhawatirkan kita, tapi tidak menunjukkannya sama sekali. Kenapa? Hanya karena mereka sudah tidak punya waktu. Egois? Kedengarannya sangat egois. Tapi hanya terdengarnya. Karena sebenarnya mereka masih memperhatikan dan mengkhawatirkan kita, dan mereka tahu bahwa kita tahu mereka merasakan hal-hal itu terhadap kita sehingga notifikasi tidak lagi diperlukan. Terdengar terlalu positive-thinking ? Memang sebaiknya begitu.

Karena biarpun keadaan berubah, tapi perasaan tidak.

Dengan mengetahui kenyataan itu pun masih saja sulit, untuk merelakan kehilangan akan perhatian dan kemudahan yang sebelumnya disodorkan kepada kita. Untuk menyadari bahwa hanya hal2 itu yang hilang, sementara yang bersangkutan sebenernya tidak kemana-kemana. Yang lebih gampang adalah, mengingat bahwa once upon a time, we had it all, but our time flies forward, never backward. Mungkin masih terasa tidak adil dan tidak sepadan, tapi ini cuma masalah proses. Bersyukurlah karena kita, manusia, diberkahi kemampuan beradaptasi. Modalnya cuma waktu, yang mungkin bisa bervariasi jangkanya. Tapi pada akhirnya kita akan sampai di ujung jalan itu, saat kita akhirnya bisa menertawakan keadaan yang tertinggal di belakang. Gue belum sampai di ujung jalan itu, tapi gue sedang berjalan ke arahnya sekarang. Physically alone, but crowded in heart.

Lagu tema dari tulisan nyaris tak bermakna ini adalah milik The Postal Service – Sleeping In, yang sudah menemani gue beberapa hari terakhir ini.

Gue menemukan kebuntuan untuk memutuskan kallimat pembuka tulisan ini. Again, words failed me. Yang terngiang-ngiang justru adalah kalimat-kalimat yang sepantasnya menjadi penutup. Mengadukan realita ini kepada seorang teman baik yang juga adalah seorang penulis yang cukup handal, sang teman baik dengan lugasnya bertanggapan “..ya mulai aja dari kalimat terakhir,”. What a genious. Knapa ga pernah terpikirkan oleh gue yaa?? (with a bit of sarkasm tone ;p).

I love it when my favorite song goes last. It’s orgasmic. It’s Too Much This Way; lagu yang tanpa sengaja gue anugrahi posisi penutup setiap saat gue memutar Soundtrack 3 Hari Untuk Selamanya, sebuah film yang gue jatuhi mahkota sebagai film Indonesia terbaik tahun 2007. Pertama kali mendengar Float sekitar seminggu setelah menonton filmnya pertengahan Juni 2007 lalu dan cuma menangkap tiga lagu yang terdengar empuk di telinga gue segera membuat gue ga ambil pusing sama 8 lagu lainnya. Pemenangnya sudah pasti 3 Hari Untuk Selamanya, lagu yang bisa mengobati sesal gue karena hanya berkesempatan satu kali nonton filmnya. Pulang adalah lagu yang sangat personal buat gue, and I’m too overwhelmed to give any minimum description. Just listen to it and feel the blissless lyric and tone. “Dan lalu, rasa itu tak mungkin lagi kini tersimpan di hati. Bawa aku pulang, rindu bersamamu..” mengingatkan gue pada rasa patah hati yang pernah ada dan masih agak menyentil. But lets skip the sentimental part.

“You and I stealing kisses from each other when we fight,” di Stupido Ritmo memunculkan senyum gue lagi. Romantika. Dengan musik yang sangat variatif dan ga monoton tapi tetap memunculkan ‘ke-Float-an’nya di sudut sini dan sudut sana, terutama vokal tanpa cela sang vokalis, akhirnya gue merasa telah mengkhianati mereka karena nggak pernah mendengarkan the whole album properly. Dimodali kebosanan yang memuncak sekitar dua minggu lalu gue mendedikasikan sepasang kuping gue untuk mendengarkan suara-suara lain yang selama ini agak terpinggirkan dan gue menemukan sisi magis di setiap musik dan lirik yang mereka sodorkan. Mendengarkan Sementara sejak detik pertama dimana kuping disuguhi bunyi riak kecil air yang terasa adalah damai. Perasaan yang sudah cukup langka dirasakan dan mungkin ga akan dirasakan dengan mudah tanpa difasilitasi media pendukung seperti musik.

……………………………………………………………

no star-gazing late at night | and no candle light | no french-speaking, no moonlight | it just came out right | no wondering words to say | and no music play | its just simply found today | love’s too much this way| beauty’s what i’ve found in you | and true romance, too | there won’t be just “i love you” | what i’ll say to you | no pretending to be nice | i wont need it twice | and i will go and tell all the guys | about the magic in your eyes | it takes no moon, it takes no sunshine | and neither June with the bluest skies | she wore no perfume, i brought no wine | my love is hers, her love is mine |

Float’s Too Much This Way – Track 9/11

…………………………………………………………………………

Dihadapkan pada realita lain lagi bahwa Too Much This Way sebenernya bukan lagu terakhir, gue ga perduli. Ga semua kesalahan harus diperbaiki, terkadang itu membawa kita ke keadaan yang lebih baik daripada kebenaran itu sendiri. So, Too Much This Way still goes last, still is my fave song in the album, and still is orgasmic. Yang terhormat Hotma Roni Simamora ( Vocal /Guitar), W. Benyamin ( Sound Design /Guitar), Raymond Agus Saputra ( Bass /Backing Vocal), Timur Segara ( Drums), you guys will definitely have your band’s name on the wall.